Finding Truthful Trust Again

It becomes easy to spout how have worked on your healing after suffering from an injury. Whether that injury is a stubbed toe, major athletic injury, heartbreak or a business partnership that dissolved through dishonesty when it passes we start the healing process. Too many times we rush this process, we often look to God for answers as to why which is good. It is better to look towards him to help us forgive; forgive the hurt, forgive ourselves for putting yourself in the situation, through true forgiveness trust can reform.

After a knee injury when I was younger it took me a while to trust that knee again, that it wouldn't do that again, that it was strong enough to hold me and to completely trust that it wouldn't fail me again when I most needed it. When I think on it now ultimately, I found forgiveness in my knee and in that developed the trust in it all over again. Still to this day I thank the Lord at nights/mornings in my prayers for the renewed strength, the protection from injury and trust in him that he is always working his plan through me.

In matters of the heart when it is from a spouse, significant other or a parent when trust is injured it is mucho difficult to move forward or trust another again openly and honestly if this forgiveness - true forgiveness is not found. It states in the bible to error is human to forgive is divine. I remember reading this and how it opened my heart and my mind to what this truly means. We look to other humans to complete us, but when you truly open your heart and love God first and open your heart to him he fills the void that we look to other flawed humans to fill. God is perfect, he has no imperfections and I am humbled by his true love for me everyday. It brings me to tears to feel how he loves me. Me - far from perfect, mistakes and wrong choices made daily, but still he loves me and stays at my side and just gently guides/corrects my path. Sometimes not so gently. My trust in him is unfailing and through this true relationship with him I open myself to the forgiveness piece in my heart and soul that enables me to openly love and trust man again.

I am far from healed but it is my hope in sharing this that maybe even one more person out there are be touched and find forgiveness, drop the bitterness and anger and walk lighter here on earth. Do  not put so much over bearing pressure on those we interact with and love here on earth. Remind yourself daily that there is only one perfect love and that is the love of God. (For God so loved the earth he gave his ONLY son) He did that for us, can you imagine sacrificing your child for anyone?

Find forgiveness through Christ, remind yourself that humans are flawed but worthy of respect, love and trust, and mostly remember that life is going to hurt sometimes but you can find comfort in his word, his light, his love.

"There is no fear in love but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."  John 1:4

What We Take Away.

Broken hearts and lost dreams are all part of a serious break-up, especially when it was a long-term growing relationship. Years spent getting to know each other, reinventing parts of our selves at times to gel better together-sacrifices we make probably is more accurate. Just those little things we do to make life a smoother ride for the other person in our life. Support you give to help them become what they fear they can't and vice versa. The awaking that occurs when this ends and you are left with a hole in your life can be crippling or inspiring.

Too many of us are in too big of a hurry to shovel some dirt in that hole, fill it with anything we can find in order to forget it was ever there. The mistake in this is that we forget to reflect on what we gained. The what is lost comes easy and too many times becomes the main focus. The challenge and the beauty comes when you can look through the pain and say 'what did I earn? What did I learn? And how did I grow?'

With all of my past relationships in my life I have gained something from each individual I have shared my life with. With each path that has split I have really taken a cherished token from each man. Is this part of God's life plan? I like to believe so, his intent is not souly for my life to be this saga of pain and angst but to be the journey he has had written for me and the growth into the woman that stands infront of you today. 

I will give credit where credit is due and if any of you guys are reading this know that I am so appreciative of the all the moments we shared, the good the bad and the good again. Without our journies I am not sure where I would be today. 

From my high school relationships I discovered my passion for everything outdoors, Coolio, lifting weights to truly see where my body limits were and to know when to say goodbye. In college I gained a new respect and admiration for the Beastie Boys, roller blade hockey, to cherish every minute from every moment and never leave anything left unsaid. I learned the most unselfish love the day I met my son. So thankful to my baby's daddy for that unforeseen, direct delivery, life saving angel. A few years later I acquired an admiration and inside look at everything business, a whole level of respect I had forgotten I deserved (due to my own choices) and another true friendship, but I had lost my roots. Lost where my soul was happiest and then it was awoken. 

I was blessed to have shared the woods with a great hunter, jokster and videographer. I asked if I could join him in the woods and he said 'hell yes!'with open arms and for that I am so grateful. He reminded me through experiences where I had always belonged, where I had always been happiest inside and what a feeling it was the first time I laid an animal down! #hooked 

So you see with each love lost I have found a piece of me that I cherish. Without even knowing it, each person that we share our lives with adds a bigger piece to our story and character. 

I encourage you to look inside and see for yourselves; even our worst memories can bring forth our best pieces. 

Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; 

(Romans 12:12 KJV)